Tonight as I sit here I think.  About where I was two years ago.
I have a hard time believing that only two years ago I was still in Japan.
In Misawa, with my girls...most of them anyway.
It seems so strange that I have only seen 3 of my girls since I left Japan.
Tonight while sitting outside looking at the stars I was reminded of where we were. Just two years ago. If feels like 100 years, yet it feels like yesterday. I think only one in my shoes can truly understand the complexity of this revelation. I know that this is something that all military wives can relate to. You get orders and you move. Simple right, but where does your heart go? Where does it stay, who gets a part of it? Mine is scattered, I know this. Around the world to heaven and back. You never know just how much of your heart you can live without until a part of it is taken. 

I just want all my girls to know that I think of you each of you everyday. I am horrible at keeping in touch. I have come to the conclusion that it is a coping mechanism and I totally apologize for that. 

Tomorrow we embark on our first Cub Scout trip. Seems silly that this is what sparks my missing my girls. Scouts was such a large part of our life in Japan, our life with my Squeak. I will get through tomorrow, it just will be one of those days full of longing. A longing most will never understand, never know, and never even realize that we are dealing with. I know my babies think about it. I just wish there was a way to fix it. Fix there longing as much as mine. I will never know just how much until they are older and ready to share and understand their feelings.

Tomorrow, we go to the Pumpkin Patch..

So I have been a little worried about Carwyn. Colt could scale the cabinets at Carwyn's age....However after several days of him grabbing my coffee cup off the counter, many close calls while cooking....and today the boy grabbed dishes out of the sink. Seriously he needs to not be so TALL....this boy is crazy tall...So I have decided he is not behind. He is just tall and doesn't need to climb...

Ok so it has been way too long...over a year to be exact since I have posted on here. Maybe it is because I have friends in town now and or maybe it is cause I have taken to spilling my thoughts on Facebook. regardless today I have made a decision to try to write everyday. If I documented every thought I have I would be committed....So here are just a few for the day....

How many times will Carwyn stand up under the table and smack his head? He has been taller than our table since he first learned to stand....

How many times will I be almost run over or cut off by a parent dropping their kid off in the school parking lot....(I have taken them to school once this year, today, and I am already at 4!)

Why do kids only have dirty shoes  and the dog pees on the floor the day I mop?

and lastly....
I love watching Carwyn discover something new. Today was juice. In a sippy cup. Usually he just gets water. Today he got juice....He thought that it was really neat. I got a huge grin....It makes me smile to watch him learn new things. Maybe it is cause he is learning for two. Everytime he does something new I think how Callun may have reacted to this new thing....Maybe it is because I know he is my last baby....Either way it makes my day....