Saturday, October 20, 2012

Tonight as I sit here I think.  About where I was two years ago.
I have a hard time believing that only two years ago I was still in Japan.
In Misawa, with my girls...most of them anyway.
It seems so strange that I have only seen 3 of my girls since I left Japan.
Tonight while sitting outside looking at the stars I was reminded of where we were. Just two years ago. If feels like 100 years, yet it feels like yesterday. I think only one in my shoes can truly understand the complexity of this revelation. I know that this is something that all military wives can relate to. You get orders and you move. Simple right, but where does your heart go? Where does it stay, who gets a part of it? Mine is scattered, I know this. Around the world to heaven and back. You never know just how much of your heart you can live without until a part of it is taken. 

I just want all my girls to know that I think of you each of you everyday. I am horrible at keeping in touch. I have come to the conclusion that it is a coping mechanism and I totally apologize for that. 

Tomorrow we embark on our first Cub Scout trip. Seems silly that this is what sparks my missing my girls. Scouts was such a large part of our life in Japan, our life with my Squeak. I will get through tomorrow, it just will be one of those days full of longing. A longing most will never understand, never know, and never even realize that we are dealing with. I know my babies think about it. I just wish there was a way to fix it. Fix there longing as much as mine. I will never know just how much until they are older and ready to share and understand their feelings.

Tomorrow, we go to the Pumpkin Patch..